The smallest things

Father: Sometimes, the smallest wrongs you commit might actually be the biggest mistakes of your life.

Son: But what is the smallest wrong you can do?

Father: Losing time!

Son: But how do I know I’m losing time?

Father: It is when you sacrifice your time for “after.” It is when you choose to use your time because it feels pleasant, but it has no purpose. Losing time is losing life; every time you lose a minute here and a minute there—everywhere—while leaving your purpose for “after,” you are losing yourself. That “after” time is a fallacy; it usually never comes. “After” is simply an excuse for your weakness. One minute here, one second there, might seem small, but they add up to the sum of your life. That is how you pass through existence like luggage moving through a train station: leaving no trace, having no purpose. Losing time might be the biggest sin of all, wasting your life for nothing, wasting this gift, acting as poor soil when you could have been fertile ground, it all depends on your will and your choices.

Son: But dancing has no purpose and just feels pleasant; should I not dance? Is that losing my time?

Father: Dancing has a purpose if your intent is to be a dancer. Purpose is the fulfillment of who you are or who you wish to become. John Lennon once said that time spent doing what you love is not wasted. He was right; invest your time where your heart is. Any action can be wasted if you are not truly present—if it isn’t connected to the whole. A person living like a hermit might seem withdrawn from the world, but if he contemplates existence, if he praises nature, if he prays with his whole being, he becomes a blessing and a source of renewal for everyone around him, whether he realizes it or not.

Son: So, for me, not losing time means finding what makes me happy and using my time to get better at it?

Father: Exactly. When that is the case, even the smallest actions become meaningful, and they will have the greatest positive impact on your life. The smallest things you do are actually the biggest things you can do. Make them right. Do the right thing.

Son: But how do I find that purpose?

Father: No one can tell you; perhaps even you may never fully know. But look for clues, like turning pebbles in a river to search for the gems underneath. Turn them over, evaluate, and do it again. Try and experience it. If you love it, even if you feel you cannot get through the struggle, if you love it, then continue no matter what; otherwise, keep searching. If you are good at it, if it feels easy yet fulfilling, you are likely close. If you feel God is with you, it is the right path. If you forget yourself while doing it, like gliding effortlessly over it, feeling that you cannot renounce it without cutting away a piece of your own soul; if you cannot breathe at the thought of never doing it again, then you have found it. You have found yourself. When you find yourself, you have not lived in vain. You have created an island of eternity within, something time cannot erode, something that will remain like a diamond at the end of time, an eternal part of you that you unearthed from the lost existence you might otherwise have lived. God will take this diamond at the end and put it on his crown. Be this diamond that bears beauty to the world.