The garbage where you throw time is called "after."
The Sea of Sorrow and the Three Devils
And the first day I saw the sea of sorrow. The water was grey. The water of the sea was calm, you could almost walk on it, no breeze disturbed it, a grey and lifeless sea, no wind. From it emerged a grey devil with empty, white eyes. He looked at me and asked: “What are you looking for here, little pilgrim?”
I said: “I want to know if the fire of hell burns?”
He said: “What do you think?”
I said: “I think it does not burn, because the fire of my mistakes I have extinguished with my good deeds, refreshing as water. I served the good even though I also made a few mistakes. From the wedding I went straight to whores, I drank in bars and got drunk and swore, but on Sunday I went to church, so I am not afraid of the fire of hell!”
He said: “What you have done is lies and betrayal. You cannot serve two masters at the same time. You are a hypocrite and a liar, and you are stained with filth and inhumanity. Your place is with the devils at the bottom of this sea, where there is the unquenchable fire of darkness.”
The devil rose up against me, grabbed me by the feet and lifted me into the air, from where he threw me into the abyss at the bottom of the sea, for the eternal fire.
But as I was falling toward the cauldron of fire and brimstone, I said to myself: It would have been better to keep the commandments, to stay away from evil, and to see my own sin without trying to wash my hands with good deeds as if they were some kind of heavenly insurance. I am sorry that I was false and a liar. I am sorry, but it’s too late.
At that moment, a flying hand of light appeared above me, wrapped around me like a sheet of soft down, and brought me back to a safe harbor. I continued to look around me. In the distance, I saw a smoke the color of blood, of rust, of eternal pain, of an everlasting evening, and of the sadness of burning and suffering.
The Corporate Dragon
I began to walk toward the mountaintop, from where another devil appeared. This one was impeccably dressed in a black, perfectly tailored suit with a corporate tie. He smelled good and smiled: “Hey! What’s up, my friend? Look at me, I just escaped the fire of the abyss!” He burst out laughing, patted me on the shoulder, and said: “You had a bad dream, my friend! That sort of thing doesn’t exist! There are no devils, no God; only natural phenomena. Look at that reddish smoke, coming out of the earth’s veins; it’s just a volcanic vent, nothing supernatural. There is no absolute good, my friend; only everyone’s self-interest. You know what they say: Interest beats the cap! There is no evil, my friend; only people who don’t know any better, who do harm unintentionally. All those things are inventions to scare children and make people more docile.”
I said: “I don’t know; maybe you’re right! I believe you! There is no evil, no devil, no God. Everything is about living your life and taking advantage of it, without worrying too much if someone else suffers because of you, as long as you’re doing well. Better to close your eyes when you see a beggar on the street, better not to judge the government; it wants what’s best for you and generally does good. And after all, we are all human; who would judge us? God? Hahaha, that’s a story for naive people from long ago!”
And then I high-fived the man in the suit and said: “You’re right! I feel like I’ve woken up! There is no devil, there is no God!”
At that exact moment, the stylish black tie turned into a long, slimy tongue, and from it came small nails with fiery sparks. The man’s nostrils swelled, and from them began to pour a yellow-red smoke, just like the volcano’s smoke; and the man transformed into a dragon like in the stories of old.
And this dragon grabbed me by the feet, lifted me into the sky, and letting me go, said: “You deceived soul! Don’t you know that if there were no Devil and no God, nothing would have been written? Yet there are scriptures, there are miracles, there are sacred deeds! Cursed are you to burn in the fire inside the mountain for your lack of judgment and for your blind faith that good and evil do not exist; and that all your life is meant to be spent in pleasures and entertainments without thinking of your neighbor or of your own filthy soul.”
And as I was falling toward the bottomless pit, a single thought crossed my mind: Now I know that the Devil exists and God exists. I am sorry that I doubted. I am sorry that I did not see the suffering around me. I am sorry that I did not read and live by the Lord’s sacred commandments, and that I did not guard myself against devils.
At that very moment, a white horse of light appeared beneath me, carried me back to the smoking, fiery mouth of the mountain, and left me in a wonderful place; in a dreamlike meadow surrounded by flowers and sunbeams.
The Trap of “Later”
I fell into a sweet, long sleep. I dreamed the whole truth. Yes, one good deed cannot wash away a bad one, nor does one justify the other. I must try not to do bad deeds as much as possible, and to ask for forgiveness; not with pride, as if I were offering good deeds as payment, but with repentance and sincere remorse for the evil I have done. Likewise, in my dream I understood that God and the Devil exist, and that I must guard myself against him and do the good deed that pleases the Lord.
Then I woke up, and I was in a park, in a modern city. In the park, a woman with a child; probably a professional beggar; came straight up to me: “My dear, do you have some change? Look, I haven’t eaten. Or do you have something to eat?” Seeing her like that, I thought: I don’t have time now to go with her to buy food, and if I give her money, how will she ever learn to work? I said to her: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”
Then, every day of my life, I told myself: I should call an old friend; until one day I found out he had died, and I never got around to doing that good deed of reconnecting with a friend. My grandfather had diabetes and died around 60; my father has diabetes and has had three strokes; I am pre-diabetic and under 50 years old. Every day I tell myself: “I’ll take care of myself, I’ll walk 30 minutes a day, I’ll go to the gym, I’ll give up sugar and carbs and beer.” Every day I tell myself I’ll do the good deed tomorrow, later.
Knowing what is good, I chose not to do it, telling myself I would do it later; until, behold, I reached the last day of my life. There is no time left. I have not managed to do a single good deed. Knowing good and evil, I always chose evil, telling myself I would do the good later; but that later never came.
The Final Transformation
Then I woke up, and before me stood the third devil, waiting for me. He was black as pitch, and he spoke thus: “Your whole life, you left the good for later. You deceived yourself that you would do what you never did. You lied to yourself, and you have become one of us. Now there is no escape! This time, you will follow me on your own.”
And I felt from my toes hooves growing like a devil’s; from my hands, enormous, sharp claws appeared with each passing moment; my skin blackened; from my head began to grow demonic horns; my eyes grew clouded and red as a blazing fire. I began to lose my mind, and I felt an unseen force pushing me to go on my own, to follow him toward the eternal abyss.
Walking like that, I thought: There is no escape now. My whole life, although I knew good and evil, I always chose evil. I am what I chose. There is nothing left in me but evil without me. I have blackened every divine light under my reckless and dark life.
And so; only the mercy of God can save one who knows the good but does only evil. Walking toward the abyss, I prayed to the Lord for His mercy. But I did not hear Him. I do not know if He will have mercy. There is still time.
“Lord, in Your great mercy, have mercy on me, the evil one in Your sight, for I can do nothing good by myself; only through Your great and boundless mercy. Amen.”