Should I eat Jesus or not?

I lost my long, beautiful, tremendous comment… I guess God did not want a new revelation.

Basically, I said Jesus is the Tree of Life, forbidden at first. I said it’s weird to have a spiritual transformation by food, like being possessed… it’s very vampiric. And tell me—who willingly wants to be a zombie? I think we are wrong. Jesus wants us free, not zombified. Maybe the eating is the incorporation of responsibility, the taking of the oath—like a willful spiritual transformation. Or maybe it is a co-birth of a new eternal man: the human part and the divine part mingling into a new transformed human. Eating is the act of becoming what you eat.

Technically, if Jesus could cut a part of himself and give you his blood, that would be a kind of sacred feast… But as he said, his kingdom is not of this world, so I guess his body isn’t either. Therefore, you cannot eat him literally, only in a symbolic way. Technically, this would be a spiritual feast—which is still weird and probably harks back to other ancient rituals.

The idea of an animalistic act like eating linked to a spiritual transformation… Jesus is like the Tree of Life that God finally chose to give to us through the Eucharist. Which is doubly weird because first he expressly refused, then he went to great lengths to give it to us anyway. I guess either we graduated… or he saw we never would graduate, so he might as well just hand us the diploma. God is a trickster who changes his mind for reasons only he understands—or maybe he’s just so bored that he likes to test the hypothesis and its anti-hypothesis. We are his lab rats, it seems.

So I’m confused: should I eat Jesus or not?