Hans, stop cleaning, please!
Hans: Superior Export. Smooth Finish. Premium Heritage. Blonde brew with little bubbles.
A white supremacist (or the old term “racist”), let’s call him Hans, once said to me:
Hans: “Superior? Damn right. White northern blood. We built this world. Everything you see. We dragged you from the mud. You’re animals. Subhuman. Monkeys breaking everything you touch. You’re dirt on our boots. Nothing more.”
Me: “What a comedian! You’re right, of course. It was Hans who built the pyramids, discovered gunpowder, and was the first psychonaut on ayahuasca.
Well... whether it was Hans, James, Juan, João Silva or Jean-Jacques, one of your kind certainly erased hundreds of civilizations, together with hundreds of millions of monkeys ‘cleaned’... And you call that ‘cleaning your boots’? I’ll grant you that, it’s one definition of ‘civilized’; maybe what best defines you…Hans…’civilization cleaner’…
But that’s a little unfair to compare yourself with a missing contender, isn’t it? We’ll never truly know if Hans is right. Still, I must applaud the great Nordic civilization for its generous gift to the twentieth century. What a legacy!
Hans, the ‘civilized’ Nordic... I’ll spare you the rest of my joke. Impatience I can forgive. Stupidity ? Never! After all, when you’re not busy building screws for Home Depot, you’re playing Risk with our lives.
So don’t you dare contradict Hans. I learned my history, pardon, Hans’s written history…”