Flying in the 9th Heaven at sixteen

And I Saw the Light

1996

The room near the infirmary.

I was lying on the bed, next to my friend.
Talking about philosophy.

Until,
Until nothing was to be said anymore.

I realized the concept of nothingness.
But I couldn’t guess,
I couldn’t expect,
My mind would become nothing.

Dissolving into the void.
Sucked like in a vacuum.

My mind was filling the space
Outside the mirror.

Once you pass through the veil of perception,
You become the totality that envelops
the hard walls of reality.

You can tell anything.
What will happen in 1 minute, 10 months or 10,000 years, if you wish to.

You gain access to all the right responses.
You know the question even before someone dares to ask.

Moving around becomes effortless.
You experience imponderability,
An extraordinary zero.

Immaterial, but luminous in understanding.

I was sixteen.
I had never heard of Nirvana, or Buddha, or transcendence, or mysticism,
or anything surreal.

I had this experience in total ignorance.

The following days, I was like Moses coming back from the mountain.
My insight solidified into discourse.

I came back with unknown inner powers.

The light was there,
under a leaf of my psyche.

Way later, in my 30s, I localized it again.

It’s an eternal flame of the mind,
Always perceptible in my awareness.
Still and immovable.

It’s the eye of clairvoyance,
Clear as rock water.

In front of it,
I just be,
And nothing else matters.

I’m the light of the spirit.

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