And it was dark

The cosmic light’s eternal drift

What if we don’t die, but we just wander in the infinite darkness of the universe… forever… without seeing the light, would we be as dead?
How can we imagine that we were before we were born, like in a coffin, coming from eternity, were we aware as a pure conscience that we were alive?
How can you be alive without a body, without a seeing?
Were we just a word in the dictionary of God?

A word that is there but maybe its meaning forgotten between other words on a page that nobody ever turns.

If we are pure conscience and we drift in the universe forever, would we forget to the end of times that we are alive?
Is awareness possible without remembering?
Can we be aware without our memory?
Then, if yes, what is this conscience that I call “Me” without knowing who I am?
What is this strange conscience that is like a cosmic arm of my body?

One day, I remember, maybe 1985, I was 5, I found it so strange this world that existed before I came here.
I realized that I was new, but something inside me was telling me that I was here when they built the pyramids, when they built my school, before even the moment my parents had met.
I thought I was new, but I felt I was old, way older than this body.
I found it incongruent and wonderful at the same time.

Now, I’m old for good, I’m not new, and I feel that the world inside me is way older than the one outside.
So many places that exist only in me, you can search them forever, you will never find them again on a map.
The local configuration of the universe has changed, and only in my soul I still keep these walls, this light.
Like the futon I was playing on at my grandparents’ house and the joyful chaos of toys kept near the top of the bed between the edges and the wall.
Some things exist only in my soul.
In all this universe and forever, these things have found domicile in the light of my memory.

Will I keep this light forever? Or it will be dark as it was before?
From the dark we came and to the dark we return.
Just this little light, this insignificant point in the universe, it may be small but is the only light that ever shined out here.